From the SFLA Blog

To my Daughters: Please Don’t Look up to Girls Like Paxton Smith

Toni McFadden - 10 Jun 2021


To My Daughters, 

Please do not look up to girls like Paxton Smith. She may have the ability to string together emotionally driven words, but if they are not founded in truth, it will lead to destruction.

I know this so well. When mommy was a senior in high school, I made a huge mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life. 

I believed the very lies that Ms. Smith relayed in her valedictorian speech. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt that my dreams, my goals, and my aspirations were being stripped from me. Knowing what I know now, they were simply feelings. Feelings change, but truth does not.  

As an immature teenage girl, I believed the lie that ending the life of my child would restore my dreams, my goals, and my aspirations. That was all a false reality. After consuming poisonous pills to end the life of my baby, your sibling, that is not what happened. Nothing was restored. 

It was all a lie. The regret settled in, but I quickly pushed it down to survive. My boyfriend (who encouraged me to have the abortion) broke up with me the day after going to the abortion facility with me. 

Those pills that were given to me, which I now know were called the RU-486 pills, did not work like they were supposed to. Two months later while in school, I started severely hemorrhaging. I was bleeding and in pain for days. The last thing I remember was laying in fetal position in my bed, praying all of this would be over soon.  

I have learned the painful way that there is nothing natural or normal about taking the life of your own child. I do not care how empowering someone like Ms. Paxton may make it sound. The reality is I had no right to take the life of my innocent child for my own selfish gain. 

The last thing I would ever want for my beautiful girls is to believe that lie. 

What makes you a powerful woman is unapologetically being who God created you to be. It’s standing in truth even when the world is trying to convince you to live in lies. I stopped believing the lies while I was in college. It was in college that I became a Christian. It was then I began my healing journey. Little did I know what all God had in store.  

After not seeing each other for almost nine years, the same boy who I had the abortion with came back into my life to apologize for the way he treated me. I never thought in a million years that this would ever happen.  

Less than a year later, I became his wife. We have been married for almost 12 years and God has given us 4 beautiful children. My husband and I will always regret ending the life of our child… especially as we look into the eyes of our children now.  

I pray Ms. Paxton will someday take her gift of intelligence and use it to protect life, not promote death.

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