The following is satire, except that Dr. Wen really is going to be teaching courses at George Washington University.
George Washington University has announced that former Planned Parenthood CEO Leana Wen, who was ousted after less than a year overseeing the nation’s top abortion mill, will join the university’s school of public health, according to The Baltimore Sun.
Using my experience filing Freedom of Information Act Requests and as an investigative reporter for The College Fix, I have obtained an EXCLUSIVE copy of the courses Leana Wen will be teaching at George Washington University.
Accounting 101: How To Get Taxpayers To Subsidize Abortions
In this course, Wen will teach aspiring accountants how to do magic math to make it look like they’re really spending all that government money on condoms and birth control when in reality they’re using it to subsidize abortions.
Language 204: What George Orwell Can Teach Us
It’s not a baby, it’s a ‘product of conception.’ It’s not ‘driving scissors into the back of a baby’s neck’, it’s ‘reproductive health.’ In this course, you can learn how twist language to try to confuse people and cover up the violent nature of abortion.
Human Resources 202: How To Abuse Your Employees And Get Away With It
First, have your Twitter accounts tweet a lot about how you support women in the workplace, and how you support ending discrimination and the pay gap. Then, and this is the best part, give them a thousand-page manual dictating how they are to address you.
Hippocratic Oath 403: Rewriting It To Mean Whatever You Want
So, yes, the Hippocratic Oath does say that a doctor should never commit an abortion, but, if you think about it, Hippocrates was probably a far-right extremist (ooh that’s good, put that on Planned Parenthood’s Twitter), so what does he know.
Unfortunately, Wen’s request to teach several other classes were rejected, based on a lack of prior experience in those fields. Those classes include:
— The Baltimore Sun (@baltimoresun) August 20, 2019