Satire: Brave CNN Reporters Wade Through 500,000 Pro-Lifers To Find 20 Teens In Trump Hats
In a stunning and brave act of courage, CNN reporters fought their way through 500,000 pro-lifers marching through D.C. to march for the rights of the preborn, to find a handful of teens from Covington Catholic wearing Make America Great Again hats and chanting school chants.
Making the feat even more mind-blowing is how the reporters were able to detect the subtle racism in the teens’ smiling and standing still as loonies yelled racial and homophobic slurs at their classmates. The brave reporters were even able to hear the racism and white supremacy of pro-lifers who were talking about raising tens of thousands of dollars for pregnant and parenting students, changing campus policies to be more accommodating, and sharing their stories of regret over their own abortions.
Were the CNN reporters former running backs? Some people are saying so, due to their artful dodging of the 10,000+ Students for Life signs that were being passed out leading up to the March for Life and were being carried up to Capitol Hill.
Did someone rub clay on their eyes as they headed to the Lincoln Memorial to find high-schoolers being high-schoolers? You have to wonder so, since they managed to not see any number of liberal, feminist, African-American, and Democrat pro-lifers marching for the rights of the preborn, but could see the light of a Native American beating a drum right in front of mainly white, pro-life, pro-Trump high-schoolers.
All in all, these stunning and brave CNN reporters should be commended for their heroic ability to miss hundreds of thousands of pro-life activists, their presence of mind to ignore pro-lifers sharing stories about helping women and children in need, and their overall ability to objectively cover a story.
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